2x147, a war in heaven... The only thing this tournament has lacked is a strea... Oh. There he is.

I cooked steak and chips tonight. Here's my recipe for steak'n'chips.

1. Wash and peel 2-3 nice waxy potatoes. Slice them up into chips about 1cm thick, and wrap them in a towel (that you don't wash in soap powder, or a paper towel or somesuch) to dry.
2. Meanwhile, put some oil in a pan or fryer to heat up to medium hot (110degrees if you've got a fryer). I use a mixture of beef dripping and sunflower oil
3. Also meanwhile, put a griddle pan on the heat. Lots of heat. Lots and lots of heat.
4. Liberally season your luvverly thick sirloin steaks with sea salt and freshly cracked pepper.
5. That griddle's still heating up. While that's happening, separate a couple of eggs (luvverly icky goopy albumen can go - its the yolks we want), and whisk vigorously; keep whipping as you drizzle in plenty of olive oil in a gentle stream (you could also add a little oil seed rape or hemp oil, they add a lovely nutty flavour). When it goes just a tiny little bit too thick, add a squeeze (1/4) of lemon or (1/2) of lime juice to take it back a little, and season with salt and pepper. This is all really easy if you have a food processor, but vigorous youthful wrists are easily up to the job. Unless you massively over-whip it, there really isn't much that can go wrong. 
5a. Pat yourself on the back, you've made mayonnaise. People think that's difficult (this is a lie put about by mayo-makers to make themselves seem clever). Leave it to rest in the fridge.
6. Whack the steak on the griddle, and cook it how you like it. The important thing is to get it nice and brown on the outside, very rapidly. If you want to cook it through more, then keep lifting and turning it on the griddle, if you want it nice and blue, just leave it until it gets to the right colour on each side. The important thing is to give it the 10 minutes or so of resting time while you...
7. Put the chips in the medium-hot fat. At this temp they'll take about 6-8 minutes to poach; keep checking them for being nicely cooked through but don't let them brown. Turn it down a little if they look like they're browning. When they've poached through to quite soft (carefully take one out to test it), turn the heat up a little (to 180ish) Keep checking the chips for cripsyness (another couple of minutes).
8. Drain the chips when they've got to a nice texture, and pat them down with a towel (paper or otherwise). Salt them up good, Judy.
9. Squeeze another 1/4 of the lemon (or the other half of the lime) over the steak, put a dollop of mayo on the side of the plate, and bung a good handful of chips on too.
10. Nom.

Tags: recipe

'Tis truly an astounding time to be alive. Strange wonders are seen throughout the land, such as Tories in government again and rains of frogs. (OK, not the frogs).

It is in these times that Nottingham Forest are promoted to the Championship. Is it perhaps The End of Days?!

Or is it only the beginning...

Excellent speeches from all the major mayoral candidates.

However, where are these 7m votes of which they speak?

Adding up the total votes cast: 2,415,958, that comes in at 2.5m. Adding second prefs, that made 2,197,704 - a total of 4,613,662. Some 2.4m votes short of 7m votes. Were there 2.4m spoiled second prefs ballots? Did they have to count something twice?

Have I gone mad because it is now past midnight and the jetlag is a killer?  You decide...

Well, against all expectation, I enjoyed the Sontaran Strategem. Up 'til now these whizz-bang two part stories have marked the beginning of the decline of the season. That said, last season's Dalek two-parter was quite entertaining, and this year's (part one) was even better. OK, it is not going to win awards for originality, but Donna is just fabulous - vying with the lovely Sarah Jane as my all time favourite companion - and Wilf can definitely be my grandad. And there was just something very contemporary about it. It kept reminding me of "Waking The Dead" for some reason.

Even the previously highly variable and not-very-good DT has completely nailed it for me this season, so, although he's never going to be my favourite Doctor, I no longer wish he'd play every scene differently. And these seem to be the Sontarans from "Time Warrior", rather than the eejits from the other stories. Pompous and wrapped up in themselves, but full of character.

Hooray. I'm looking forward to getting home and watching it on proper telly.

I'm sad to mark the passing of Humphrey Lyttleton. Never again will we hear of Samantha practicing her news report about the leaders of a strike at a Gdansk shiphard. She had to get her tongue round a difficult Pole, but had every confidence she would pull it off. 

*sigh* It just isn't the same if Humph doesn't do it for you.

On the happy, meaty side I went to a Brazilian steakhouse for dinner; so I have eaten my own not insubstantial bodyweight in beef, lamb, chicken, pork, sausage and a small amount of salad. And savory fried bananas, and little mini yorkshire pudding things.

I have also unwittingly played the part of the "Admiral Fell ghost" for the benefit of the tour coming round the hotel I'm staying in.

And then there's the Blake's 7 fantasy casting thingummy. Blake needs to be someone actually good. I'd quite like someone a bit older to play him, too - someone who has been through the revolutionary thing when he was younger; discredited, spent some time in prison, rehabilitated, and then perhaps round again for a second time. Maybe Peter Firth. Avon is interesting, but I think I might make him a woman; Anna Chancellor? Vila; I'd quite like someone like Dexter Fletcher if he was a *little* bit better at the acting thing. How about Shaun Dingwall from Dr Who? No Gan, I'm afraid, and I'd lose Jenna too. Too many bloody people. A Tarrant might be fun, though.  Or should Anna Chancellor be Servalan. And Avon could be a man again. Oh, it is all too difficult.

Fundamentally, though, I'm not totally happy with any of this casting business, because they've done it already, and I only watch for Blake and Vila and Servie (and Travis and Tarrant), and they're all perfect already in the episodes we've got.

I am in Atlantic City for a conference this week. Journey was uneventful, and even involved a quite nice cheese and chutney sandwich.  I landed in Philly, to meet a colleague, and we drove the hour or so over to Atlantic City.

If you haven't been, Atlantic City is Vegas in the East, designed by people who clearly don't understand what it is that is cool about Vegas. Vegas is cool because it just emerges out of the desert like the Emerald City in Oz; Atlantic City isn't. Vegas is cool because you can walk up and down a street containing every wonder of the kitsch world. Atlantic City is designed to trap you in your hotel/casino/resort, and there's no walking possible.

However, before you think I'm having a total downer on Atlantic City, I'm not. I had all-you-can-eat steak and mash (I'm all about the gourmet cuisine, me) for dinner for 10 bucks by pretending to be a guest at Caesar's. You can't say fairer than that.

It has been 6 months or so since I was last in the States. Turns out that there's an election soon - or so the TV tells me. The choice seems to be between Obama and Clinton per the news reports, and yet, curiously, some other guy seems to be ahead in the polls. He doesn't merit a mention, though.

Over the weekend we went to the Fat Duck in Bray, courtesy of our friends K&J and a jointly deferred-gratification b'day present of extreme and special generosity. 

The food was, as before, incredible; and the whole thing was great fun. The "Sounds of the Sea" was a particularly delicous and beautiful plate of food. It looks like a beach, with sand, surf and seaweed, all edible and delicious. The only downside of this multi-sensory experience was that you listen to sounds of the sea on an iPod while you eat, and suddenly you're cut off from your fellow diners, and the centerpiece of the meal becomes a curiously solitary and unsatisfying experience.

That said, the less showy stuff had evolved since we last went - there was a tiny piece of truffle toast that was just sublime with a quail jelly, langoustine mousse and pea puree that had previously been a highlight for me, without its truffly accompaniment. I think my favourite dish was the snail porridge this time - the snails were perfectly tender and there was a deliciously subtle grassy flavour in the porridge.

I'm currently enjoying (read: bitching about and correcting things with which I disagree) the Medieval season on BBC4.

But the highlight is not the dull art historian and her brilliant map; nor Stephen Fry's enormous press.

No. The highlight is the trail. Run, don't walk, to this link, to enjoy it again.

ETA: Also on youtube)

In January, someone who works in our office ordered a Freeview box from Ebuyer.com. He had it delivered to work because, obviously, he wouldn't be in to receive it otherwise.

Today, a letter arrived at the office (addressed to the company), from the TV Licensing authority. It said "Mr XXX purchased a television receiver from EBuyer.com in January of this year, and it was delivered to [office address]. We note that there is no TV license registered at this address. To avoid a visit from our inspectors, complete the following direct debit form." 

Does it worry anyone else that the *TV Licensing people* know what purchases an employee of my company has made, and can track it through to our company, and hold us responsible for his purchase, just because he had the damn thing delivered here?

What is ebuyer.com doing sharing that purchase information with anyone? Did you know that retailers do this when you buy a tv or similar?

Pie post for

toft_froggy.

 Apple and Blackberry plate pie

Make your sweet shortcut pastry very short, so it is melty and crumbly when cooked. Also, don't make it too sweet. 

Make the pastry according to one of any number of identical recipes; it is science, not art. 

The only trick I know is to run your hands under the cold tap (and dry them) before you crumb the flour and fat, and open the kitchen window or turn the heating off/aircon on (depending on ambient climate). You want the ingredients, the atmosphere and you, all to be as cold as possible while you make pastry.

Anyway, pastry made and resting (wrapped in clingfilm) in the fridge, you can peel, prep and cook down 3/4 of your bramley apples in a heavy pan so that they are just softened, then allow them to cool - vitally important. You can do all that the previous day, if you want.

When they are completely cold, spread the par-cooked apples out over the bottom half of the pastry on the plate. Dice the rest of the apples up (raw) into half-blackberry-sized bits, and scatter over the pastry base, along with the blackberries.

Scatter some caster sugar over the fruit, then put the top on. Crimp to the edge of the plate.

Cook in a moderate oven until gently browned, leave to cool and serve with what pie should be served with - a light homemade custard.

with custard

To make the custard (which is also ideally done the previous day for optimal development of flavour) take a pint (or half pint, or however much you want to make) of full cream milk, and put it in a small pan on the hob to heat up to nearly-boiling, along with a couple of scraped-out vanilla pods (plutocrat version) or some vanilla extract (not flavouring, that's horrid).

While that heats up separate 4 egg yolks. You can use some of the whites to make yourself a merangue-based pie tomorrow. Today, though, beat the yolks vigorously with an equal quantity of caster sugar.

When the milk is hot, take it off the heat, and pour it gently onto the yolks, beating vigorously all the time - you don't want scrambled eggs. Keep beating for a few minutes until it has thickened slightly - you don't need to heat it up again (thus avoiding the risk of it splitting), then cool it down quickly in a sinkful of water (ideally with some ice cubes in it), and stick it in the fridge while you make the pie.

You can warm the custard up again to serve, if you want, but you don't have to. I think it is nicer cold, with a warm pie.

Tags: recipe